Saturday, April 14, 2012
Sunday, December 18, 2011
My innermost desires...
it did not take long for me to realised that wat I really yearn for is not sex but the desire to be close with someone of the opposite sex physically as well as emotionally. I crave for intimacy and the need to hug, cuddle or just hold her in my arms. It would be nice to hug her from behind and smell her hair while enjoying the feeling of closeness.
Thats all I wanted really, anything more would be just a bonus and I m not at all bother whether or when I lose my virginity as some might think otherwise. Thats hardly my goal, I just felt that I need to find some love before I end my life in despair....
Thats all I wanted really, anything more would be just a bonus and I m not at all bother whether or when I lose my virginity as some might think otherwise. Thats hardly my goal, I just felt that I need to find some love before I end my life in despair....
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Wishing and hoping
I've been wishing for the world to end or a huge catastrophe that will devastate the whole world, it would make me really happy to see it end. Hopefully it will end soon by next year end according to the Mayan calendar. If it doesn't end then I hope to die soon as I dun have any purpose in my life and the world is freaking boring, nothing special ever happens. My life sucks and death seems like the only way to end all the BS that life have given me. Besides theres no fun in playing a game that u cant be good at and makes u feel miserable. Its time to move on and go to the next phase... I wont try to kill myself just wish that it will cause by some kind of accident and a quick death hopefully. Better yet, I would prefer to sacrifice my life to save others as stated in my earlier post. That will be so cool...
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Drunk in Geylang
This incident happened last year and its also my first time getting drunk, my colleages and
I had been drinking at the club for hours.Then one of them suggested going to GL to eat frog legs, but little did I know that he had something else in store for me instead......
Its our company D & D that night and my colleague(lets call him Ben) want me to go with him together with another 2 colleagues to drink at Clark Quay. I obliged since hes a good friend and I dun want to disappoint him, and its also been a long time since I go clubbing. I was never the chiongster to go to these type of places as the music is too loud and I dun like crowded places. Besides I dun know how to dance but the best reason is I dun like to drink, beer just taste bitter and I dunno why others like it so much. Anyway we took a cab down after the D & D ended, Ben used to be bartender so he knows the place well and he had a lot of drinking kakis. Hence Ben took us to Shanghai Dolly since his kakis are there but its too crowded so we went to Rebel instead. Nothing much happened there but Ben made me drink a lot of shots that were peddled by a young girl and he even persuaded her to kiss me :P
After we had a couple of drinks we went back to Shanghai Dolly to meet up with Ben's kakis, after some brief intros we drank with his kakis while watching the performance on stage. By this time I was feeling drunk from the shots I took from the girl and a couple at the D & D. I was in a daze but still quite conscious of everything around me, the experience was kinda surreal and I was numb to the loud music.Soon, I felt that I cant drink anymore or I will puke so I just stood there holding the glass of wine while swaying slightly.
I had no idea how long passed before we leave the club,then one of my colleague parted with us so left the three of us.We decided to go GL to eat frog legs for supper but ended up in the red light district instead. I realised it was Ben's plan to make me lose my virginity after getting me drunk but I really dun have the intention of doing it. Luckily most the house brothels dun take drunkard as I walk unsteadily and with an obviously drunk face.
Before long we came upon another brothel(seems more like a shop house) and I could hear Ben talking to a pimp inside, it seems the pimp would take me from their conversation. We were just standing at the doorway and its dark inside as theres no lighting from the house. I was just pressing against the edge of the doorway refusing to go in, while the other colleague was trying to push me in. I told them I m still sober and I would not do it, Ben retorted that he should have make me even more drunk. The other colleague persuaded me saying I dun have to do the act and just go for the experience.At that point in my half drunken state I have no mood for any sexual desire and I m also afraid something might go wrong and I lose my virginity.Therefore I gave them an excuse which is genuine and valid, with that they let me off and we went for our supper/breakfast.
Dun ask me wat was that excuse,all I can say its a private matter
I had been drinking at the club for hours.Then one of them suggested going to GL to eat frog legs, but little did I know that he had something else in store for me instead......
Its our company D & D that night and my colleague(lets call him Ben) want me to go with him together with another 2 colleagues to drink at Clark Quay. I obliged since hes a good friend and I dun want to disappoint him, and its also been a long time since I go clubbing. I was never the chiongster to go to these type of places as the music is too loud and I dun like crowded places. Besides I dun know how to dance but the best reason is I dun like to drink, beer just taste bitter and I dunno why others like it so much. Anyway we took a cab down after the D & D ended, Ben used to be bartender so he knows the place well and he had a lot of drinking kakis. Hence Ben took us to Shanghai Dolly since his kakis are there but its too crowded so we went to Rebel instead. Nothing much happened there but Ben made me drink a lot of shots that were peddled by a young girl and he even persuaded her to kiss me :P
After we had a couple of drinks we went back to Shanghai Dolly to meet up with Ben's kakis, after some brief intros we drank with his kakis while watching the performance on stage. By this time I was feeling drunk from the shots I took from the girl and a couple at the D & D. I was in a daze but still quite conscious of everything around me, the experience was kinda surreal and I was numb to the loud music.Soon, I felt that I cant drink anymore or I will puke so I just stood there holding the glass of wine while swaying slightly.
I had no idea how long passed before we leave the club,then one of my colleague parted with us so left the three of us.We decided to go GL to eat frog legs for supper but ended up in the red light district instead. I realised it was Ben's plan to make me lose my virginity after getting me drunk but I really dun have the intention of doing it. Luckily most the house brothels dun take drunkard as I walk unsteadily and with an obviously drunk face.
Before long we came upon another brothel(seems more like a shop house) and I could hear Ben talking to a pimp inside, it seems the pimp would take me from their conversation. We were just standing at the doorway and its dark inside as theres no lighting from the house. I was just pressing against the edge of the doorway refusing to go in, while the other colleague was trying to push me in. I told them I m still sober and I would not do it, Ben retorted that he should have make me even more drunk. The other colleague persuaded me saying I dun have to do the act and just go for the experience.At that point in my half drunken state I have no mood for any sexual desire and I m also afraid something might go wrong and I lose my virginity.Therefore I gave them an excuse which is genuine and valid, with that they let me off and we went for our supper/breakfast.
Dun ask me wat was that excuse,all I can say its a private matter
Sunday, August 14, 2011
My first sexual experience
This is my first sexual experience, all is true as I can remember it but I will not reveal any personal details. Prior to this I have zero experience with a girl and never touch one before unless u count those accidental touches on the mrt/buses.
It started when I obtain a FL contact on sammyboy forum and after a while I summoned enough courage to contact her to arrange a "session" with her. I chose a local as it will be easier to communicate though they are more expensive than china girls, also I'll rather support locals than those 'FTs". Anyway I met her in a hotel the next day , was a bit disappointed that she is not that pretty as I imagined and a bit flabby around the tummy too. overall still not too bad with at least C cup bust,they are soft but kinda sagging. After a bit of talk she told me to shower.
When that is done, I sat on the bed in my boxer and coyly told her that I wont be doing intercourse(I did mention that and also I m a virgin too earlier when I contacted her). Then we snuggle up(me kinda awkward) and start kissing/frenching, it felt strange at first but I dun feel any pleasure as I thought it would , maybe I wasn't doing it right being my first time but I really dun feel anything special. After a while she went down and lick my nips then go down and started to bj me after I take off my boxer. It felt nice at first but it gets kinda uncomfortable later I guess due to my phimosis problem and she kept trying pull my foreskin down while bj. Its a strange sensation pleasure + discomfort, as it intensified I keep laughing nervously and caressing her butts to distract myself.
After sometime I ask her to stop so I can try out my skills, so after some frenching I started licking her nips, taking my time to lick them one at a time.It seems like she enjoy it as she close her eyes and moaning slightly. Then later she took her panties off for me to lick her below(I did told her I would like to try earlier), its shaven and I dun detect any taste or odour as I lick. I've always fantasize about these stuffs but it doesn't seem as good as I imagined, maybe it could be that she is not hot enough :P
Suddenly she sat up and ask me if I really is a virgin, I replied that I learn a lot from watching porn. Then after that I she tried to bj me again to make me cum but that strange sensation make me laugh again, she must thought I m some kind of weirdo lol. It get quite intense and uncomfortable so I ask her to stop and I went back to licking her breasts/nips. As time almost up, she made one last attempt to make me cum by hj with some lotion but it still feel the same so I told her that I dun need to cum.
After a bit of wash up I remarked that I must be the only 'customer' that did not cum but she told me theres been a few , one of them wank too much and cannot cum too. Paid her as I dressed up,before I left and I requested a hug , she obliged and giggle a bit after that, the hug turn out to be the nicest thing I felt in a while.
As I left the hotel, the whole experience left me in a daze it just seem so surreal and I cant believe I've done all those stuffs that I've been fantasied about. However its been a let down as it wasn't even half as good as I thought it would be that I imagined.
It started when I obtain a FL contact on sammyboy forum and after a while I summoned enough courage to contact her to arrange a "session" with her. I chose a local as it will be easier to communicate though they are more expensive than china girls, also I'll rather support locals than those 'FTs". Anyway I met her in a hotel the next day , was a bit disappointed that she is not that pretty as I imagined and a bit flabby around the tummy too. overall still not too bad with at least C cup bust,they are soft but kinda sagging. After a bit of talk she told me to shower.
When that is done, I sat on the bed in my boxer and coyly told her that I wont be doing intercourse(I did mention that and also I m a virgin too earlier when I contacted her). Then we snuggle up(me kinda awkward) and start kissing/frenching, it felt strange at first but I dun feel any pleasure as I thought it would , maybe I wasn't doing it right being my first time but I really dun feel anything special. After a while she went down and lick my nips then go down and started to bj me after I take off my boxer. It felt nice at first but it gets kinda uncomfortable later I guess due to my phimosis problem and she kept trying pull my foreskin down while bj. Its a strange sensation pleasure + discomfort, as it intensified I keep laughing nervously and caressing her butts to distract myself.
After sometime I ask her to stop so I can try out my skills, so after some frenching I started licking her nips, taking my time to lick them one at a time.It seems like she enjoy it as she close her eyes and moaning slightly. Then later she took her panties off for me to lick her below(I did told her I would like to try earlier), its shaven and I dun detect any taste or odour as I lick. I've always fantasize about these stuffs but it doesn't seem as good as I imagined, maybe it could be that she is not hot enough :P
Suddenly she sat up and ask me if I really is a virgin, I replied that I learn a lot from watching porn. Then after that I she tried to bj me again to make me cum but that strange sensation make me laugh again, she must thought I m some kind of weirdo lol. It get quite intense and uncomfortable so I ask her to stop and I went back to licking her breasts/nips. As time almost up, she made one last attempt to make me cum by hj with some lotion but it still feel the same so I told her that I dun need to cum.
After a bit of wash up I remarked that I must be the only 'customer' that did not cum but she told me theres been a few , one of them wank too much and cannot cum too. Paid her as I dressed up,before I left and I requested a hug , she obliged and giggle a bit after that, the hug turn out to be the nicest thing I felt in a while.
As I left the hotel, the whole experience left me in a daze it just seem so surreal and I cant believe I've done all those stuffs that I've been fantasied about. However its been a let down as it wasn't even half as good as I thought it would be that I imagined.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Why I am still a virgin
Well I m not the type that wait till marriage to lose it, its just that I dun even have relationship before. Theres a few that I fancy but kinda attached , then theres a couple that I was too shy to approach during my younger school days. My workplaces in the past are mainly all males and I dun have many friends and even fewer female ones. Also I felt that I wasn't quite ready for r/s in the past so have not been socialising much.
Of course I can always lose it thru commercial sex but I dun want my first time to be with a complete stranger and it just doesn't feel right somehow.
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